My Week #131 - Painting and mental practice

How can a lonely wolf become a good husband and a father?

I am a lonely wolf. This is out of discussion, this is how I feel, this is how I am. When doing anything, literally anything in a team, there are two options - you are a leader or you have a leader. I don't feel great in both cases.

If I have a leader I lack free will and need to play the role of the assistant, which, at my age, sometimes becomes problematic, especially when I'd like to continue practicing my self-confidence.

If I am a leader and I need to manage the others I start to notice that it only works if I am NOT doing the other job until I am sure that the rest knows their jobs. This is a very important observation, probably one of the most important in my life. I cannot just trust others and let them do their jobs focusing on something else - they might not have enough experience and skills to do things on their own without doing things wrong. I need to first make sure they know what they do and, only then, consider doing my stuff.

Becoming a leader is a great way to speed things up - once the others are trained they can help you achieve more. However, in the meantime, this challenge requires patience and time to invest in others.

I believe that this is the major reason I feel best as a lonely wolf - I always missed the step related to training and making sure the others knew their jobs. I preferred to do mine as well as possible as I trust myself. However, this approach is super problematic when you have a family and they want to participate in your challenges - they simply want to help you, like with the apartment finishing this week. We jumped into the flat without patience trying to do as much as possible in a short amount of time - it ended in a situation, where after too short onboarding I left my son painting the ceiling and making huge mistakes that started to be visible once the paint dried out. I became frustrated cause some issues will stay with this ceiling forever. It was late before I realized that it was my fault - I did not onboard my son correctly, I gave him too little time & patience trying to push the other topic as my wife was waiting for me as well to become onboarded.

I love being a lonely wolf, I hate rush and impatience. I'd like to become a good leader, so I will practice it, hopefully with success.

Summary

✅ Continued the appartment finishing

✅ Continued physical training

Plan for week #132

🪜 Finish painting of the flat